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a blog by a mess of a woman.

Posts tagged birthday in los angeles

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good morning world!

it’s a dreary Monday here in Toronto, and I slept through my 9am lecture.  Truthfully I’m not that upset about it — something about three hour lectures in an empty movie theatre first thing in the morning is really unappealing, if you ask me.  Instead I spent my morning drinking coffee in bed and writing in my journal.  I may be taking my permanent vacation (congratulations! your imitations! … etc) mindset a little too literally…

I’ve been listening to The Maine all morning after I watched all the snaps from 8123 day yesterday — they’re so cute, it makes my heart so happy — and birthday in los angeles came on.  Honestly I skip this song a lot because it’s sort of depressing,  but it really fit the vibe today and it got me thinking about how I got to do the whole running away to the city thing.

It also got me thinking about the fact that Canada has a very limited number of big cities to run away to.  I grew up on the West Coast, in a little town on Vancouver Island (B.C.), and Toronto was always my dream city.  No one else really talked about moving here the way I did, but in the year and a half since I’ve been around at least five people from my high school have moved here.  Two girls I grew up with actually live within two blocks of me!  It really is the most New York/LA kind of place we have —  where dreams come true, you know?

forever halloween

Forever Halloween

this ain’t a scripted movie… I don’t drive a fancy car… those flashing lights don’t mean a thing to me… 

I had my fair share of I-can’t-do-this-I-don’t-belong-here moments when I moved.  I’ve seen a hundred movies and read a thousand books about people who move to the city and realize how hard it is.  They get caught up and swept away in all the people, lost in the lights and the noise and overwhelmed by the speed of everything.  I always thought it was silly, but I was finally able to see how not everyone was meant for life in a big city — I thought maybe I wasn’t meant for it either.

It’s not like I have it all figured out now or anything, but I feel like I’ve carved out a space for myself here, as one of the millions of confused souls in this place.  It feels pretty good.