An Ode To My Failure (and to many more to come)

Can we get real for a minute?

Blogging is kind of bullshit.

I think it’s that there are just so many of us!  The only way to get ahead is to be perfect, and so that’s what we try to be.  We stage our instagram shots so carefully and we write about what people want to read and we carefully time our posts and then we just pretend it all fell into place like that because it’s not cool if you have to try.

This blog did not turn into the blog I wanted it to be.  I wanted it to be different, to be real.  I wanted to talk about my very average life and my very real flaws.  I wanted to be honest, but I’m not.  And the funny part is, it kind of happened by accident.

I look through my posts and I feel like there’s just no substance.  Like really, what is on my blog that you couldn’t find anywhere else?  If you want low quality photos of candles and makeup you can just look through a Sears catalogue.

I fell into the trap, I guess.  I wanted to do what I see working, but honestly it isn’t working for me, because it isn’t me.  Dont get me wrong – I’ve gotten very honest a few times, but I always come back to these gimmick-y “lifestyle blogger” posts, because they’re easy.

I don’t have any great wisdom to share with you.  My make up skills are pretty average, I don’t cook much, and I pretty much never go to the gym.  I’m not really a blogmas kind of girl – in fact, I’m not really a lifestyle blog kind of girl.  I’m… a mess of a woman.

I have seven dollars in my chequing account (don’t worry, pay day is the day after tomorrow), and I haven’t even started studying for my exam on saturday.  I rarely make my bed, I like to sleep until noon, and sometimes when I can’t be bothered to cook I drink a chocolate flavoured meal replacement shake.  I don’t get my eight glasses of water a day, I never really finish anything, and I’ve basically proven to be undatable.  But… isn’t that life?  Isn’t that the twentysomething journey?  Isn’t this what adolescence is about????

Should I be perfect by now?  God, I don’t know.  but I know that I’m not.

So what does the future of MOMPUNK hold?

Honesty, I guess.

It’s a lot less commercially appealing, but commercial appeal isn’t very punk rock anyway.

I failed blogmas.  I fail at a lot of things.  And I say I’m going to do better a lot, and it usually doesn’t work out.  But hey – nothing wrong with trying, right?  At the end of the day, that’s what this blog needs to be about.  A journey – an attempt.  This isn’t going to be the last time that I panic about my empty bank account, or clean my room at 3am because I can’t sleep, or decide that it’s time to turn things around.  I give myself a stern talking to about changing my life pretty much on the daily (a very tiring habit).  But I think not enough people tell you that your first try won’t always work out.

Changing isn’t always as easy as making a decision.  If things were that simple, we’d all be rich and skinny and have a billion instagram followers.  Humans are complicated, and sometimes we fail.  But then we get back up again.

And honestly?  I think that’s something worth writing about.

 

here’s to moving forward.

With love – L

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