November starts tomorrow, can you believe it? I feel like I was just marvelling at how fast 2016 had come around, and now it’s almost over… I’m getting a little emotional about it.
Anyway, as promised I am back in full force – ready to kick some ass and take some names. But, uh… I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t a new development.
Truthfully I don’t know what came first – was it my bedroom or my life that first became a giant mess? Whichever came first, the other followed shortly thereafter, and they seemed to feed off of each other in the most terrifying way.
You know what I’m talking about – you stop doing your makeup in the mornings because you just don’t have the space to spread your things out. Getting dressed starts being less about what looks good and more about what doesn’t smell like BO and spilt wine and stale cigarettes. You’re falling behind in school because your planner got buried somewhere in a pile of garbage, and your desk has every paper you’ve ever read and/or written spread out on it’s surface…. Maybe you even go two days without the use of your laptop because your charger is buried under a pile of laundry somewhere (or maybe that’s just me…).
The point is, doing anything about it seems daunting. My room is tiny, so it doesn’t take long for it to devolve into full on disaster mode, and then what? You just never fully open your bedroom door again? You say sayonara to that lipstick you know you just had and drop out of school because you can’t find your textbooks anywhere?
I think social media creates a lot of really terrifying expectations, especially for young women. Bloggers and instagram stars seem to just wake up in this perfect life, all glowing and hairless with flat tummies and white teeth, and they walk into their perfectly clean kitchen and make a green smoothie while adorable puppies yip at their feet… some hot shirtless man probably watches fondly from a breakfast nook, newspaper in hand… everything smells like fresh coffee and vanilla and no one ever oversleeps or skips the gym or eats McDonalds on their way home from work at 3am… maybe one day I’ll have that life – I’m not quite ready to let go of that dream just yet – but the truth is… that’s not real.
The last week may have gotten a little bit extra out of hand, but let’s get real here: shit happens. Sometimes it’s your own fault and sometimes it isn’t, but the point is, beating yourself up over the fact that you’re not some fucking golden glow-y bikini model is not going to make you into a golden glow-y bikini model. Trust me, I have tried that method. I have had literally no success with it.
The truth is, you have two options when you fall into an awful rut; you can accept the fact that nothing will ever improve and rot away locked in your disaster of a bedroom, or you can take out the garbage, throw in some laundry, and kick yourself in the ass. Hard.
That’s what I would do, if I were you.
Anyway, all of that to say I am here to stay – but also, more importantly… I get real life. I live real life. And I don’t think that’s anything to be ashamed of.
OKAY SO today is halloween, a fact that I would be incredibly excited about if I weren’t working. Boo! As usual I completely failed to put together a costume… our theme at work is Alice in Wonderland, so on saturday night I backcombed the shit out of my hair, went for some dramatic eyeliner (complete with drawn on bottom lashes – so fun!) and pinned a tiny top-hat that I found at the dollarstore onto my head. I might not have looked exactly like the madhatter, but luckily my red hair made me look like I could at least have been related. As for tonight I’m going to try something along the lines of this tutorial.
I will let you guys know how it goes.